Inspiration

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a coke by the PC and a rubber…

…why the hell do I need a rubber if I am using a PC?

it probably is a legacy of previous desk-users…

head is bumping.

actually thoughts are bumping against each other.

I need to clean that desk… its chaos and untidiness disturb the gush of my thinking.

I cannot overcome the disarray around. it slaps me from the scattered sticky notes on the screen, the rumpled sheets on the floor, the open books on the bed, the shabby jeans on the chair.

I need to clean that room…

I just need to sit down in a tidy, empty space, on a tidy empty desk in front of a tidy blank screen…then will my undisturbed, genuinely provocative, profoundly prolific, outstandingly brilliant thoughts flood the page.

the only idea makes me smile inside. outside – a sturdy mask.

anyway, I need to clean that room first.

will start with the coke. one, two, three sips…

telephone starts ringing, I hate that song. won’t pick it up, damn disturbance, as if present chaos is not enough…starts getting on my nerves and these are rather tense already…

I stretch for a cigarette, open the pack, hmm…I’ve left half a joint on reserve…here comes my inspiration… wait until I inhale to see my genius. one, two, three puffs…

telephone starts beeping. sms is coming, damn disturbance…

…how strange it is, the way we sometimes see the world with different eyes, as if somebody else has sneaked inside - a person we would wish to be under some circumstances…or a person we’d never even thought to be, now bragging in the front. is this really me?

line up, thoughts, first, second, third in a row, you will have your special moment, that flamboyant burst of pride…just keep up the good will and enthusiasm until your time comes around…

I might actually use that rubber now…will blatantly erase some of those useless thoughts crowding on the exit of my mind.

Line up, Line up…ONE in row! You are out and you may go….